I am a nice person. Or so I'd like to think. People have told me I'm nice, generous, kind, ect. I've never really thought of myself as that until other people started to tell me. Then I kind of started saying, "you know what Sara? You're great."
Then the problems started. I think I became so obsessed with being nice, because I think I equated that to being liked that I started to assume other people acted the same way and the reason why people were well liked was because they were nice.
That means when you ask if they want to go to Warped Tour with you they say that don't like the bands, can't afford it or some other lame excuse and then the day of Warped Tour all you see on your social media is status updates, tweets and instagram video's and pictures of the Warped Tour they supposedly weren't going to and while they are there having a grand old time you're sitting at home on Twitter going "mother fucker."
Or maybe that's just me.
This has happened three or four times now and I am just sick of it. So I deleted all my social media besides Twitter which I use for Celeb updates. To be honest I didn't actually "delete" my IG because I want the photos to still be there if I need them but I deleted my bio, my picture, the app and have stopped using it.
I don't want to see photo's of the events you didn't think to invite me to. Because I would have NEVER forgotten to invite you to an event that I know you'd want to go to. A.k.a anything to do with the Madden's for my GCfam. Like, let's just throw that out there - if you have time to invite people from out of state, you obviously have time to send some form of carrier pigeon at the very least to say hey this is going down, IDK if you can but it's a thing.
I mentioned this to someone else and they literally go "oh no, did you say to them 'we aren't friends anymore'? Because I would have." I just told them I was 25 and I didn't have time for petty shit. I'll just remove them from my social media and not worry about it. But for me that wasn't enough because they could still see my stuff and they could still contact me and try to stir up drama. I mean if they even still have my phone number they can still do it via phone but that would require effort. That would require noticing my absence from their feeds - which they haven't. Three weeks has gone by and not one of my so-called "friends" has even bothered to check and see if I'm still alive.
Thanks guys. That's almost as comforting at the time that NO ONE came to visit me in the hospital when I ALMOST DIED. If any one of them had been in the hospital I would have been there. But I'm nice, I guess they're not?
Because it really only seems like I miss you and all that counts when I can cart them around in my car to shows. It seems like I'm only good enough to be someone's friend when I can offer them something. How about just wanting to be around people because they are genuinely interested in you? Because those are the friends I want. Those are the people I want in my life - people that want to be around me.
The whole thing that pisses me off about this entire business is not that they don't want to be around me, but that they don't have and apparently couldn't borrow the balls to say "Sara, I don't want to be your friend, I don't enjoy hanging out with you." If they said that, yeah it would sting but I'd be like "Wow, ok" and it would be done. But people don't have those balls.
So if you're reading this and you think it could be about you, it probably is and if you'd like I will straight up tell you if I think you're a shitty friend and that I would rather just not associate with you anymore. If I see you out and about I will wave or say Hi and acknowledge your existence as a person but I don't want to be your fair weather friend. Nor do I want to be your friend on any type of Social Media because to be honest, liking my rant about shitty friends on FB when you're the shitty friend I am talking about because you're oblivious to the situation, is also not a conversation. So perhaps I am to blame for not calling you out on your dick moves, but people don't and/or shouldn't have to tell you you're a shitty friend. I think you already know it and if you don't well then that's worse. But either way it's so not my problem anymore.