Monday, May 5, 2014

Adventures in Dating: Okay Stupid

Greetings readers, have a lovely day? I want to share with you a really awkward experience that I had today.

I haven't confirmed a relationship with the guy I have been seeing as mentioned in a previous post. My friend said that he was probably seeing other people and that as long as I didn't sleep with any of them, seeing multiple people until someone bones up and says "let's be exclusive" is ok. I've never done it. I usually go on one or two dates with someone and then it fizzles out. Or I see that person once a month or something ridiculous like that and it is ongoing. But I'm usually pretty monogamous when it comes to dating. As in I don't even talk to other guys.

So I went out with a guy I had been talking to for a few days. He was actually very pushy when it came to meeting. We talked maybe twice on OKC before he sent me his phone number. Then he was very demanding about what I would say to him. As in, he text me good morning one day, so I text back good morning and he said nothing for 24 hours. Then this morning he text me and wanted to know if I was still interested in talking to him because he didn't think I was interested after I just said "good morning". So I was like, "that's a pretty standard reply, was I supposed to launch into some dramatic story or something without greeting you?" He stated that next time I needed to add a more personal touch like, "are you a morning person?" Reg flag was there but for some reason I only saw it as a yellow flag.

He asked me to come see him at work. I worked for the company he works for so we had that to talk about. I talked about my cat. Then I went to see him at work. I discovered that the pictures on his profile were obviously old because he looks more disheveled and not as well groomed in person. I got a little dolled up - I put on make up and lipstick and changed my shirt. I put some effort into it.

Then he gets off work so I assumed we were going to Starbucks or something to talk for a bit. We didn't. He got a phone call as soon as we got to the parking garage where he proceeded to tell the person that I was picking him up. LITERALLY the words "Sara just got here and picked me up" came out of his mouth and I was like UM HOLD UP, what am I doing?

He didn't have a car. He did not tell me he didn't have a car. I had no clue I was supposed to give him a ride home. So right then and there I wanted to leave his ass at his place of work. But I didn't. He then pulled out his CD, because wait for it - he is a musician! A rapper to be exact and I learned all about his lovely music on the ride to, wait for it, THE PARK! Because he didn't have money to eat, he had just had lunch not too long ago and he wasn't thirsty so no Starbucks either.

At this point I'm going through my head the number of people I can text to get me out of this fuck shit of a situation. Like a fucking tool I ride it out. I listen to him talk about how he knows this person and this person from this band and that band and how hard it is for him and how he is "making moves" and going to market himself and really put himself out there for his music. I learned about how in the next three weeks he is going on tour and he is going to make a ton of money and then move out of his friends house and at this point he's one of Charlie Browns' teachers.

I couldn't even listen to him until he started going on about girls and dating in LA. He slammed other girls, girls he called his friend but spoke their names like I knew them or something. I had to keep asking who each girl was. Then he proceeded to go on and on about how every girl puts that they want a man who is well groomed, well dressed, has a career that they are successful in, has their own place, has a car, ect and that they wanted the perfect man and that he didn't exist.

So I stopped him and told him that the perfect man did exist and that ANY MAN could fit that description if he put some effort into it. He had to read between the lines and figure out the subtext. He then asked me what subtext meant. I literally face palmed at this point and explained again what subtext meant and then was like "I have to go, where do you live I'll drop you off." I made an excuse that I needed to go pick up a jacket from a friend who lived in Woodland Hills by the Topanga Mall for a photoshoot I was doing tomorrow and I wouldn't have time to get it before the shoot. He then was like "I need a stylist, I need a hair stylist and someone to do a photo shoot." So I politely nodded and smiled and he was like "do you want to do it?"

At this point, I thought he meant have sex. I gave him the dirtiest, meanest look I could muster and was like "um no. I've known you for about 5 seconds and I'm not having sex with you. Probably ever." He then proceeded to tell me he meant a photoshoot but I just laughed and said sure dude before dropping him off.

The moral of the story is this, do not settle. There is a guy out there who is perfect just like there is a girl out there who is perfect. They are not perfect for everyone but they will be perfect for THEE ONE. Whoever their "the one" is will think the sun shines out of their ass and that their ass smells like roses no matter what.

This guy needed a fucking clue in more than one way and I attempted to give it to him but he really was just too out of it to get it. That's ok. Perhaps he will get his life together and get it someday but it sure as hell wasn't today.

Now the question for me is, will the guy I've been seeing for the last three weeks ever bone up and confirm us into a relationship? My heart wasn't into meeting this new person. I think I realized that today. I wasn't really looking for someone else but discovered that what I already kind of had is perfect for me and it proved that I don't really want anyone else.

Stay Tuned....


  1. OMG, yes. Dating in LA sucks. I met like 15 guys like this before landing my boyfriend, who is, yes, perfect. You'll find yours too, it just takes going through a bunch of retards first.

    1. I normally hear one of two things whenever I talk about giving up on dating. One, is that it will happen because I've stopped looking. Which is ridiculous. "Oh you'll only find your keys if you stop looking for them." Said no one - EVERRRRRR. Like, who thinks of these ridiculous sayings and why do people believe them? Because it happened to them? I call bullshit. It wasn't that they stopped looking because they had given up they stopped looking because they found someone to be with.

      The second thing people usually say to me is that I'm still young. Yes, youth is grand, however, a long life is never guaranteed and knowing my luck, I'll die the day after meeting the person I was supposed to be spending my life with. Only I wasted all that time with the various retards of L.A.

      I just don't want to waste my time. If I'm seeing someone I give it a month. If this person isn't still beating down my door and I can't see myself being with them for the next big event I have in my life or the next holiday it's bu-bye, thanks for playing.

      I literally date like once a year and for some reason it's always in April. haha I have no clue why, it just seems to be "that time" or something. I get the whole "lets not spend our days alone being a creepy cat lady" feeling and I venture out into the dating pool and usually a week or two if not a month later I'm literally running for my life away from men and heavily considering being a lesbian. I have enough girl crushes - if I could just get over the whole sex with girls thing being "not for me" then I'd be set because I always get hit on by girls. Maybe they know something I don't?

      Either way I'm glad you no longer have to wade through the mud puddle that is the dating pool in L.A. I wish that on no one. ;)